ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
