you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
