he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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