How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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