Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
