i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
