no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
