honey bunches of taint.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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