Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
