i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
