need another drink. this is the easiest way
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am spending my child support on dildos
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
