At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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