i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
