Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I need to calm my uterus...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
