just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
