I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
