he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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