Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
