I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
