Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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