Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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