bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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