There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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