I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize