Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Where is the hickey?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
