Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
