my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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