God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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