dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I understand Curling. That high.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
