You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
