sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
