I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
worst night to have a conscience
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
