Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
