Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
