I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
