I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Boobs speak an international language.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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