my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
the raccoons are back...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
