Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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