Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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