Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
