D3 body, D1 cock
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
