i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
