when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
