Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i think i just lost a toe
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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