Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Say something about gay babies.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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