remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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