I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
