i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
