I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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