What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
