dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
