She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
