I must be too annoying 4 u.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
