I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
