we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
