We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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