This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
