great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
