I skipped work to stalk him.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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