8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
